Sunday night, alone in my head. I'm in one of those moods: melancholic, missing something I'm never going to get back. The last time I wrote about it was two years ago, but I guess we're back here again. It's time to leave again. Soon I have to pack up my college life and move on. To be honest, I'm downright...

Isn't it crazy to think that after all this time on the blog, the college tag is finally going to retire? Every morning I wake up in my college apartment with the acute knowledge that my days here are numbered, finite, dwindling, whatever you want to call them. I went apartment hunting with my mother yesterday for...

I missed talking about music! fall out boy...againOkay, I know I wrote about them the last time I did one of these posts, but they just never get old for me. In my quest to finish college I put myself in danger of never listening to American Beauty/American Psycho ever again, just from the sheer amount of times I...

Still here! Just busy. For the past few months I've only posted once a month, and it's honestly weird to not be blogging as much. I didn't plan on being practically gone for so long, but I've been finishing up college, and dealing with all the ups and downs that come with all that. I'm 99% done with this chapter of...

Ferocious, hissing and spitting, and yet utterly defenseless unless I run away. All talk, nothing to show for it. Often I finish fights in my head hours after the fact. Sometimes I bite once and regret it forever. Because I'm supposed to be an angel, right? I should be nice; I should be good. Women are supposed to...

Wednesday morning, listening to jazz and eating breakfast. It's been a long time since I last listened to jazz, actually. I brought it out in a last-ditch effort to get myself to wash the dishes when I woke up before dawn this morning. I spent an hour in bed just doing whatever on my phone, but in the end, I did get...

The song cover I was working on finally went up, and I feel...bad? I mean, I'm proud of myself for finishing it! I'm proud of myself for doing it all on my own when I'm used to working in a group! I'm glad to know I can do things like that. But I just feel like I could have done better, somehow, even though I know I...

It's just a bit past midnight. After class yesterday I worked on a song cover all afternoon, then I read a book about music pretty much all evening because I had to stop working on the cover. It's a solo project for my choir (now that I write this, isn't that ironic—a solo choir project), and it's the first time...

It's 2 a.m., and I'm writing this in my childhood bedroom. But I'm not a child anymore, and I've come to that horrible realization that probably comes upon everyone in their early twenties, when they think they've been changing for the worse. As I write this, I can hear the voice of reason in my head saying,...

On days when the sun ravages the earth I can see where you buried your dead—cracked tombstones, paint stripped off the bones, three-hundred-year-old names lost to time and the tide. Yes, the tide, the deep blue, water trapped where it was never supposed to stay for very long. I know it’s not really a tide. Let’s...

I sit down at my desk after a long shower, my face sore from laughing, and think of you. To T, N, A, J, and J, lights of my life

It's 1 a.m. and I can't sleep. I'm not even trying to sleep. I'm supposed to be revising my thesis proposal right now, but I'm in the completely wrong headspace for it (still fretting over my med school applications), so I'm writing this blog post in hopes of resetting my brain. Not an auspicious start for 2026. But...