We break readily, when we’re flung into the scrap pits. We lie in quiet piles, legs twisted, arm actuators malfunctioning due to the ‘sleep paralysis’ protocol when we’re junked. But only the exterior breaks.Yes, our ceramic shells crack into shards, our crumple zones collapse, but our batteries typically survive,...

For use in treatinghypermundanity,more commonly knownas excessive ordinariness.Do not combine with alcohol.Use only as directed.If you experience blurred vision bloody urine aphasia glossolalia levitation bilocation persistent glitter shedding or heart arrhythmia,discontinue useand consult a doctor.Effects may...

Between the World Cup, ramping up for S8 and our expanding publishing schedule, and the day job, it's been hard to keep up with everything going on. So for this first edition of The Media Guide for season eight, we have a doozy of an issue to catch up on everything we've missed over the course of the last month plus...

Dept: Office of Patriotic SustenanceTruthiness: 250%Title: Chief Cooking OfficerFineprint: Who needs to eat anyway?Mode: menuOkay team, it falls to us to assemble the greatest menu of American dishes ever comb-bound into a booklet to be sold in every National Park gift shop across these beautiful fifty states. Now,...

Read What Do Moms Know About Fashion? now!Who do you find yourself relating to more in this story, the mother or daughter?As a very independent and strong-willed person, my younger self would have answered that question as definitely the daughter. I was always the one in my family that insisted on finding my own way...

My mother clucked her tongue when I had my neck stretched on my twentieth birthday. If she could have forbidden it, she would have. Not under my roof. Well, good thing I have my own place and my own money. When I came for Sunday dinner after having my skin sandpapered until it was soft and nearly translucent, she...

Zack Rhodes is a Northern Ca based cartoonist enjoying the many jokes that life and fatherhood throw at him. Innovator of Free Art Friday in Sonoma County. Receiver of a Community Enrichment Merit award. Currently getting beat up by his 2 year old son, Wade, while typing this biography.

The July issue of Foofaraw Zine is here! Download below or read in our purpose built ebook reader. Of course, all stories will be published for free on the web throughout the month, but paid supporters receive a PDF/EPUB with all of the month's stories at the beginning of the month, along with a few other goodies,...

💡Read Small Potatoes now!What’s your favorite way to eat potatoes?I think the better question would be “What’s your least favourite way of eating potatoes?”. Potatoes are amazing and there are so many ways of eating them! Fried, boiled, baked, deep-fried, mashed. The possibilities are endless! I’m particularly...

Our third novelette is available directly form us now and available anywhere books are sold starting July 1. A reluctant seer, gifted with only a "certain sense," opens his door to a desperate man babbling about a face—a face that haunts him. The trail leads to a deserted chateau; the obsessive work of a vanished...

Spudwig Wright was a potato, and not a particularly attractive one at that. Rumour had it that there was more than a bit of rutabaga on his father’s side of the family. And even if that wasn’t actually true, he certainly had the looks, which were anything but pretty.As a consequence, he had been bullied throughout...

—Rusty Epstein