I went swimming. I am reminded that I don’t like swimming, being in the water, the smell of chlorine, the damp floor, seeing strands of other people’s hair in the drain, and the feeling of a cold swimsuit afterwards. The whole experience, really. But I did it for the little one, who was terrified the entire time,...

I went swimming. I am reminded that I don’t like swimming, being in the water, the smell of chlorine, the damp floor, seeing strands of other people’s hair in the drain, and the feeling of a cold swimsuit afterwards. The whole experience, really. But I did it for the little one, who was terrified the entire time,...

I hadn’t worn perfume in a long time. I purchased maybe too many perfume samples last year, determined to indulge in one thing that brought me delight. I’d gone through all but two of them, and inexplicably fell into monotony. Everything felt like too much of a bother: tying my hair when it fell across my face,...

I hadn’t worn perfume in a long time. I purchased maybe too many perfume samples last year, determined to indulge in one thing that brought me delight. I’d gone through all but two of them, and inexplicably fell into monotony. Everything felt like too much of a bother: tying my hair when it fell across my face,...

It is February in Vancouver, and the sky is tumultuous. The gathering clouds loom dark and volatile. The rain is unceasing; the rush of the wind feels almost painful in the way it steals air from the lungs. This is winter’s last sigh, tired and lingering, before it gives way to spring. It is as arresting as ever,...

Building this blog was the work of several evenings of hyperfixation. Agonizing over every small detail felt strangely delightful rather than burdensome. I’ve always told myself I’m not a creative person in any sense of the word, but maybe art doesn’t have to look like the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel to mean...

Building this blog was the work of several evenings of hyperfixation. Agonizing over every small detail felt strangely delightful rather than burdensome. I’ve always told myself I’m not a creative person in any sense of the word, but maybe art doesn’t have to look like the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel to mean...

S. told me to ask for what I want, to take care of myself. I told her: “I think I only really know how to suffer, lol.” It’s been a recurring thought, that I don’t know how to have things, I only know how to want them.

S. told me to ask for what I want, to take care of myself. I told her: “I think I only really know how to suffer, lol.” It’s been a recurring thought, that I don’t know how to have things, I only know how to want them.

We were running late to our own wedding reception. It was the middle of October, and the rain came down heavily, pattering insistently against the windshield. There was no wedding ceremony, of course: social anxiety won in the end, and the reception was the compromise. As we waited, gridlocked and enveloped by...