Ever since Cocoa’s passing, LC and I have constantly looked for signs that, in some ways, she is still with us. Whether it’s the wind that caresses us as a symbol of her little T-rex arm hugs, the fur we find in certain places as her saying hello, or the faint whispers of her barks, we find ourselves looking for...

Pink and white flowers blooming under a bright blue summer sky. Related: Silent Sunday (coffee)

I haven't really been wanting to do much lately because of the guilt. I feel bad when I'm doing anything other than thinking about Cocoa, looking at photos and videos of her, or just sitting with the grief. It took me a while time to start reading again because of it. We've barely turned the TV on to watch anything,...

I haven't been inspired to post on august morning for quite some time now, even though I have a bit of a backlog of photos I would like to share one day1. Recently, I came across Inventory Full's Blaugust Class of 2025 post again, where my photo blog was mentioned. It reminded me that I do, in fact, miss sharing...

I was on auto-pilot in July. It's probably my worst month this year, or in quite some time. I'm still wondering how I survived, but here I am anyways. I didn't shout into the void that much, at least in digital form. I did plenty of shouting in real life. ⚠️ Want to learn what these Micro Thoughts are? Read the...

Two weeks after saying goodbye, we finally brought Cocoa home today. After Cocoa passed, we chose to have her privately cremated. We bought an urn for her and had a plaque engraved with the words Forever Our Baby Grandma. I also decided to keep a little bit of her ashes in a necklace so I can carry her with me...

📌 Yesterday, Cocoa's (kitchen) water bowl has officially dried up. We haven't emptied it since the last day she took a sip from it 13 days ago. It's hitting me pretty hard. The grief I feel comes in waves. At the same time, it also feels like being stranded in the middle of a vast ocean, where I spend every waking...

This past week, we found ourselves back at Heidrun Meadery. The last time we were there was almost a year ago, in August celebrating my birthday, with Cocoa. It's one of our favorite places to spend a quiet afternoon, tucked beneath the trees with a glass of mead and our very own DIY charcuterie board. I wasn't sure...

This past week, LC and I have made a conscious effort to spend even more time outside. To keep our vibrations up. To get some sunshine on our faces, breathe fresh air, and be near some sort of body of water whenever we were able to. Not speaking for LC, but I'm basically a plant (sun + water are essentials to my...

I have been functioning in survival mode for so long that I didn't even realize we were about to enter a new month. A new month where I'll be experiencing my first full month without Cocoa, somehow becoming another year older, and commemorating 365 days since I was laid off from my last job. So don’t forget to Like...

My best friend, my soul dog, my everything, Cocoa, crossed the rainbow bridge on July 22, 2026 between 12:46 - 12:51PM Pacific after a fight with IVDD (where she became paralyzed in 3 of her limbs). I am swimming in an ocean of grief, barely able to float. Cocoa was deeply intertwined in the fabric of my life and...

I’ve been drowning. I’ve been trying to keep my head above a raging storm of feelings that I never knew had a collective name when put together: anticipatory grief.1 Obviously, like everything in my life, once I can put a name to something, I end up going down the rabbit hole of research. I needed to understand what...