Sunday morning, listening to jazz again. I fell asleep accidentally, as is bound to happen these days, and woke up half past 5 with my lights off and blanket drawn to my chin. No idea when either of those happened. Some days I think I live with a benevolent ghost: myself in the ungodly hours, a version of me I'll...

A million versions of this post exist in my head; there's actually an earlier draft somewhere in my unpublished posts that I'll probably take and morph into something else later on. But right now, it's 3 a.m. and I'm sitting in front of my anatomy work, trying to convince myself I've got more to give. I probably do....

The aftermath of falling in love as a teenage girl, mess and all. Found in the archives on a slow Saturday night as a twenty-something. 02 I don’t even know how you feel right now. I guess I’ve never really known much about you. 03 Last month I found the necklace you gave me while I was looking for another one, and...

I haven't done a housekeeping post since last year, which means it's been a while since the last time something changed on this blog. I switched my font from good old Libre Baskerville to Inter because my eyes are getting worse (lol) and Inter is a bit easier for me to read. I should probably update the site colors,...

There is a lot in med school that I think is boring. Now, don't get me wrong. I do want to be in this field. There's literally no other job I could see myself actually having a career in. It's just that I think it's high time I accepted that there's a lot of stuff I find boring, and that I should deal with the fact...

I finally graduated from college! Surviving my degree was the main motivation behind starting this blog: I've always been one to write about my experiences, but I needed somewhere to put it, where I could pick it back up any time I wanted. I didn't want to be hyperaware of any potential audience, but I appreciated...

It's the rule, outlined in several pages of exam guidelines. I've never had to do it before; I've never been in a school so strict. I guess they have to be, when we're only a few short years away from holding people's lives in our hands. The upperclassmen say you can't have pouches inside, either, and so I scatter...

They left your rings on. Did you know that? I don't know how long you've been here, but however long it's been, they've left your fingers alone. I saw it. Don't worry. I didn't touch them. Today we did the anterior upper limb, so all of you were face up, with your muscles and your blood vessels and your nerves all...

Are you nervous? / There's no point in being nervous now. / Ha, you're right. / It's like, I'm already here, so I might as well get on with it. / Well, that's one way to look at it. / So it is. / Come on. / Oh, wow, you're right, there really is a huge sign. / You just don't pay attention. / Or maybe I'm just new. /...

Saturday night, lying in bed, because of course I got sick the moment I had some room to breathe. Sorry if this post is all over the place! I'm fresh off my first week of med school, and it's still a little surreal to call myself a med student. I feel like I don't deserve it yet. I haven't said the words "I'm a med...

Lately I've been feeling like some part of me is trapped in ice, or stuck at the bottom of a lake. Unreachable, like crossing into the part of my hometown where there's never any phone service. It makes me feel like I don't have all of myself at my disposal right now. (Do we ever?) It's a late night at home, real...

I have one watch that ticks louder than the rest, a soft pink piece given to me a few years ago. It's not my daily watch, but I use it enough for it to earn a place on my desk instead of in the jewelry box. In the quiet hours, when I'm alone with my thoughts, I hear it: nothing else in the world, just me and the...